It is a good thing I got over my “fear” of sleeping in other locations with a room full of people. I have stepping stone to thank for that. I was originally put in a hallway but was later moved to short term medical care. In short term medical care I had 3 people pretty much right beside me, all male. Strange, but I as getting someone to take me seriously and that’s all I cared about.
They were checking for more autoimmune diseases and bacterial infections in my body. The Friday I was admitted my platelets were 53, normal is between 150-400. My white blood count was 1.4 normal between 4-10, red blood cells were still ok . The following day, Saturday it dropped again. Platelets were 42, WBC was 1.3. Then Sunday platelets were 33 and now hemoglobin (RBC ) dropped to 108, normal is 120-155. You will hear me refer to these counts a lot. So you can see how quickly the numbers were changing. I knew something bad was going on by this point.
Sunday evening I was able to see my kids. It was the first time since Friday morning. It was very emotional for me. I tried to hold it in but I just missed them and was sad they had to see me so weak. Dylan asked me if I had cancer. It killed me to hear him ask that but at that point I said no, don’t worry. It was a nice visit with the family but that night the kids started getting sick with the flu. I still haven’t seen them because you can’t have the slightest cough , rash, even cold sore if you come see me. It sucks.
Monday morning I was alone in my cubby when the internal medicine doctor came in. She had a bit of a grave look on her face. She told me I was being transferred to VGH for my bone marrow biopsy and for further investigation. I ask why, what was the problem. That’s the first time I heard that I most likely had a blood cancer. Sigh…… they found 4 blast cells in my blood smear. Blast cells are immature white blood cells which apparently you should never see outside you bone marrow. There had been a blast cell found weeks before but know one seemed to think it was significant.
That was my first real breakdown. I cried. I cried for my kids, I cried for me husband and friends and family. I cried for myself. I’m only 34. I called Aaron right away and My sister in law Marie. Aaron had a sick kid at home so had to arrange to get Madison from school to watch Dylan. I texted my mom with the go ahead to come home. I could bare the thought of telling her. Her brother died a few years back of a bone marrow cancer. She did phone me back right away and I had to tell her. Nothing was set in stone but I knew it was cancer.
The doctor came back and told me they were going to go ahead with the bone marrow biopsy at Surrey that morning. I was so scared and so anxious. They were going to be sticking a massive needle in my lower back bone while sucking out fluid and taking a piece of marrow. Marie arrived by that point and was very encouraging and stayed with me while I almost puked on her, and passed out. I was white, clammy , nauseous, it was not fun but I did it. Here are some pics. I asked Marie to take some for my blog.
I had a lot of support in Surrey. Visits from my Dad and brother. My sister in laws Brenda, Leanne and Marie. My mother and father in law. My friend Krista. I had an awesome nurse who happened to be Marie’s cousin. I was well taken care of. And of course Aaron .